Reflection

//How do you act, speak, or dress differently according to which group you are with or whom you are around? Why do you make these adjustments? Do you think it is hypocritical or false to make such changes? Why or why not? Which is the real you?

I chuckle at the fact that you ask this question. I find myself particularly aware of how I act around other people, and the changes that I make for certain people. I certainly act differently around other people. Of course I talk to teachers differently than I talk to my friends, and I act differently around particular teachers. Among my Quaker friends I am one person, and among my school friends, I adopt a slightly different character. Strangers get something different, and when I find out how I can approach them and figure out what I should and shouldn't reveal to them, I can see what kind of persona I should adopt around them in the future. I find it kind of fun to adapt my countenances and actions towards the people I'm around. It's a little game I play, seeing how many different personas I can keep up. I don't really like to pigeonhole myself into any one particular category, and so when I show a different aspect of my character, it's fun to surprise people and have them remark on how they wouldn't expect something like that of me. I smile slyly and know that it's only that they wouldn't expect such a thing out of the small portion of myself that I have previously revealed to them. It's funny seeing them stumble to really know me. I'm not making it easy. I don't think it's really hypocritical. It's all me, it's just different sides. I suppose it's borderline schizophrenic, but it makes life interesting for me. I'll quote Oscar Wilde in The Picture of Dorian Gray: "Is insincerity such a terrible thing? I think not. It is merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities." I agree, on a level. I wouldn't like to use the word insincerity. It seems too shallow, too irreverent for my purposes. I suppose that's a little hypocritical, but oh well. I wouldn't say that only revealing a part of me is really insincere so much as it is careful strategy. Some might call it manipulative, but I call it practical. It's a way for me to stay ahead of the game and know what it is that they do and don't need to know about me. The real me ... Hmmmm... Does she exist? I'm not sure if I can really pigeonhole myself and say ' That's the real me!' I feel some sort of discomfort at putting restraints on who I can be and who I am, because I don't like anyone, even me, saying who I am and am not. I don't know if I could pinpoint the real me if I tried. There are so many facets, so many different aspects that I don't think one single category would fit it. So for now, I don't know what would happen if we asked for the 'real Michelle Fonda to please stand up.' But I don't think that really bothers me. //